Change the Lives of the Kids in Your Life This Summer!

When I was a kid (uh-oh, have I slipped into “back in my day…”?) it seemed like everyone went away to summer camp. I can remember going about as far back as I can remember. It seems, though, like that’s less the case these days. I can’t say for certain why, but we know there has been the whole “helicopter parent”, “lawnmower parent” phenomenon that’s been occurring to some degree in recent years. I wrote not long ago about the shift I’ve seen in how kids and even young adults struggle with doing “hard things” and I think much of it may be attributed to these factors. When we monitor everything our kids do and clear the high grass and the obstacles for them, though, how are they to learn these skills themselves?

Camp. It really is that simple. (For this post I’m specifically talking about overnight camp, although I know there are also great day camps out there that offer these benefits as well.) Camp offers so much on so many levels. It gives kids opportunities to play, get dirty and just be kids. They can explore their personality and interests in a new environment. Most importantly, there is simply no better place I’ve seen for them to learn crucial life skills. You’ve likely heard the buzz words - Social Emotional Learning or 21st Century Skills. While they’re not exactly the same thing, they are both focused on developing critical skills humans need to thrive in our society, whether at work or in their social & family lives.

These are the skills that the top Fortune 500 companies say are required to be successful if you want to go to work for them. But is that relevant if we aren’t interested in working for them? Absolutely! Why, you may ask? Think about the people you interact with in the world – at the grocery store, at your kids’ school, at the auto repair shop, at a law firm, at a restaurant, at a call center, etc. Now think about the most positive interactions you’ve had with those people – the moments that wowed you, or pleasantly surprised you, or were easy when you expected them to be difficult. When you interact with people, especially in difficult situations, and have a positive, memorable experience, it's likely because the person you are interacting with has particular skills - like problem solving, communication, empathy, confidence, decision making, collaboration. Because they have these skills, they were able to excel in this moment and it made a real difference for you. I'm willing to bet they are also the people most likely to get promotions or better job offers, have stronger relationships, and who are generally happier and more satisfied in life. These aren’t skills we are born with, though, they have to be learned, and they aren’t things we teach from a textbook. These are the skills we’ve been teaching at camps for over a century.

There are a number of reasons camp is so effective at building these skills in children. First, at a good camp, these skills are the mission - the purpose behind the play. Camps are also blessed to have unique environments. Kids are often surrounded by nature and we know that nature helps kids thrive. In fact, studies have shown that an outdoor adventure residential program has not just short-term, but lasting positive affects on young people.

Camp is also likely the first time kids have been away without a parent-type adult there to supervise them. They may have stayed overnight at a friend’s house, but that friend’s parent was there. At camp the person in charge of them is typically 18-22 years old, someone who seems “cool” from the start. They may find this counselor listens to them and talks to them in a way very different than the other adults who have been responsible for them in other settings. Suddenly, the expectations that usually hang over them from parental adults are removed which creates a new opportunity for them to explore.

Camp also offers programming designed to develop these skills. For example, in the camp programs I’ve operated we traditionally have each cabin do some sort of skit to introduce themselves at the first night’s campfire. This simple, fun task has a lot of purpose behind it. We begin to nurture confidence - every camper goes on stage (which is probably a little scary for most) and gets applause (positive affirmation, a feeling of success, after doing something hard). We begin to develop the skill of creativity and teamwork as the camper group comes up with a name for their group, and each camper gets to add something to their cabin poster and is involved in creating their performance. It’s the end of night one and the campers have already begun to learn confidence, creativity and teamwork. This is fostered throughout the week at campfire and other parts of the program.

Let’s look at another example. Archery is a staple at many overnight camps. It’s not something most kids get to do on a regular basis, so it’s one of the really special activities at camp. And it’s not easy. When kids come to archery, though, we’re not focused so much on teaching them how to hit the bullseye. Sure, that’s exciting, but they likely aren’t going to need that skill outside of camp. When they come to archery, they will get lots of opportunities to try again, which is the skill “persistence”, which they will need to use often outside of camp. They’ll learn that when they try again, and are persistent, they get better and better.

I also find that sometimes kids, and adults, expect to go straight from not knowing how to do something to becoming an expert in the blink of an eye, which is not realistic. So again, looking at archery as an example, kids learn to set incremental goals – let’s focus on just hitting the target paper, now let’s try to hit one of the rings in the target, now let’s try to hit one of the two rings in the center, and so on. This teaches them patience, the value of persistence, and how with practice and coaching they can improve their skills. These are skills that can apply to schoolwork, sports, and most other activities in which they participate.

Archery is also one of the activities where we can work on self-esteem. We look at self-esteem by looking at our self-talk. What is the conversation going on in our head, and often out loud, when we’re doing something? You can imagine what some of that self-talk is during archery, especially the first time they take a shot – and miss the target. It’s very common to hear comments like “I’m no good at this” or “I suck”. And when they miss again, it gets even more harsh. We train our staff to take these moments and help campers reframe them, often using the names of the skills they are learning to teach them they are building patience, persistence AND archery skills.

Another thing that seems to happen a lot at camp is that kids, and staff, find their best friend. One of my favorite memories at one of my camps was at a volunteer work weekend where two volunteers, men in their 70s, came and were sharing how they met at camp as kids and were still best of friends today. This is a common story at camps around the country. Here’s why I think that happens. At camp, we are encouraged to be our truest selves. It makes sense, then, that the friends you make at camp would be the best possible friends you could have. They met you at your truest self and embraced you as you were and the friendship blossomed from that genuine, authentic place.

Kids come back from camp noticeably different, but don't worry, they’ll still need you just as much as they did before. It’s just that now they’ll have more skills to learn and grow, and to maneuver the times you can’t be there.

One other important note. Not all camps are equal. It’s important to do your homework. Camp staff should be willing to talk to you about their program and happily answer all of your questions. So call or email and talk with them before you register. Inquire about supervision, program goals, what the day will be like for your camper, how they will handle homesickness (which is normal and to be expected - for more on this visit my earlier blog post), what kind of screening they do of potential staff. Talk with your camper about the kind of program they would like. Ask potential camps about their programs and determine whether or not it seems like a good fit for your child. It doesn’t have to be perfect, there should be some things a little out of your camper’s comfort zone, but camps are all different so it’s important to get a good feel for the one you’re considering.

Looking for a great camp to send the kids in your life to this summer? It just so happens, I’ve got a suggestion! I’m beyond excited to be returning to YMCA Camp Ravencliff which is reopening after three closed years due to change in ownership and then COVID. Ravencliff is a rustic camp on a hillside along the Eel River in southern Humboldt County in California. Its small camp size, with an 80 camper maximum, creates a unique experience that allows us to truly build community. By the end of the session most of the staff know almost all of the campers and campers have made tons of new friends. The program is largely based on choice, with campers choosing most of their daily activities and each day begins with an all-camp morning inspiration and ends with the communty coming back together for campfire – often starring our campers. Ravencliff doesn’t have fancy bells and whistles, it’s dirt and water and magic, and in my opinion one of the best camps around because of it. At Ravencliff our staff build quality programming from the ground up. As a result we’ve discovered activities like finding napping places, being royalty, gnome and ferry villages, nature fashion and other magical, one-of-a-kind experiences that open up imaginations, build friendships and make lasting memories. And because I said camps should be willing to answer your questions, feel free to email me at bria@ready2imagine.com or visit my website to learn more about me.

Whether you join us at Ravencliff or find another wonderful camp, I hope you’ll make an annual overnight camp experience a tradition for the kids in your life. They, and I’m guessing you too, will be so much better for it!